BleachBurger
by CaliforniacationNation25
Summary: After filming Bleach, all your favorite characters like to hang out at the fast food chain, BleachBurger. There they eat, play even work! This is a comedy/parody, hope you enjoy! Please read & review!
1. Kiddie Meals

After the filming of Bleach, all the characters like to relax. They usually go home to take some Z's, but some like to hang out after filming with each other. Thus, the company made an area they used to relax. They created a fast food chain named, "BleachBurger" where all your favorite characters work and play! This isn't a rip of McDonalds BTW! Well, something interesting seemed to be happening today…

***

Matsumoto and Hitsugaya were rummaging with paperwork like always. Suddenly, Matsumoto felt her stomach growling.

"Taichou," Matsumoto said with a whiny voice, "I'm hungry can we stop over here, and there's a fast food place there".

Hitsugaya, who couldn't take any more of Matsumoto and her, complains just allowed her to go if she would do paper work afterwards. They entered the shop; they found Hanatarou at the cash register.

_That boy and all his weird part time jobs_, though Hitsugaya. He allowed Matsumoto to order for him.

"Okay" said Matsumoto, skimming through the menu; "We will have one salad for me…"

Hitsugaya wondered, _if she was so hungry, why did she just order a salad?_ This was something he didn't know about women and was very curious of. However, he didn't have the courage to talk to Matsumoto about that.

Matsumoto continued her order, "And a kiddie meal for my little taichou!"

"A kiddie meal!" Hitsugaya said, in rage.

"Well, you always get a happy meal when we go to McDonalds taichou," Matsumoto said, trying to defend herself.

"Happy meals are meant to make you happy" Hitsugaya explained, "It just so happens that plenty of kids order them. They are not children meals!" He really just liked it for the toys it came with- I mean the action figures. However, Matsumoto didn't know that and it would stay that way.

"Kiddie meals" Hanatarou interrupted, he quickly shut-up, which was very smart for him.

"But taichou" Matsumoto whined, "You'll never finish a full big meal"

Hitsugaya was amazed at the thought. _He, the boy genius, unable to eat a full burger! Outrageous!_

Matsumoto didn't want to fight with her taichou so she ordered a big burger for him and laughed a little. A few minute later Hanatarou gave their salad and the big burger.

They sat down and Matsumoto passed the burger to her captain. He took it and stuffed himself like his little stomach never ate. Matsumoto ate her salad carefully. Then. Hitsugaya took out his face from the mess that was his burger. His face with mustard and ketchup all over, he said, "Matsumoto…" there was a pause. He then continued as though he was ashamed, "I can't finish it". Matsumoto laughed and her captain was more ashamed then ever. She responded with a witty comment. "Taichou," she started, "I would say I told you so, because I did, but I shall spare you the shame… if you do my paperwork for a week!" Hitsugaya never felt as bad as he did right now.

He, the boy genius, out-smarted by his lazy vice-captain.

Hellohola everyone! Hope you enjoyed BleachBurger because there is plenty more to come! Please comment, or add this to you favorites if you liked it. If you didn't please tell me what I could improve on! Thanks for reading this! Hope you enjoyed! Again please review!

**EXTRA:**

Hitsugaya was in his captain's chamber. He looked around and after making sure nobody was there he took out some toys he got from his Happy Meals.

"Hahaha! I am the evil Aizen and I have captured Momo!" he started off in an impersonation of Aizen. He then moved on to a more shrill voice, "Help me! Help me! Who can save me now?" The Hitsugaya went into a more manlier voice, "I, Toshirou Hitsugaya, shall save you Momo!"

Then he put his Aizen doll and Hitsugaya doll in a long battle, and he threw Aizen off the table. "My hero!" he said back in the shrill voice! "All in a days work mam!" he had said.

Matsumoto entered the room, this unaware by her captain. She saw him holding two dolls and saying, "Kissy, kissy, kissy!" Matsumoto held in her laugh knowing how much he would hate her. She continued to watch.

"Hitsugaya, you're such a man," he had said in the shrill voice. "Of course I am!" he had said in the deep manly voice again. He turned around to see his vice-captain running away!

"Matsumoto!"


	2. HAMburgers

Ichigo felt his stomach growling. He entered a restaurant. _BleachBurger? The company and all their promos and advertising _he thought. He walked in to see Ganju at the cash register picking his nose and reading a magazine.

"Ganju?" Ichigo asked. Ganju turned to see Ichigo and then he jumped, "What the hell are you doing here?!" he asked. Ichigo was confused but he finally said, " I should be asking you that!" Ganju ignored the comment and said, "What do you want to order today?" Ichigo scanned the menu.

After a while he finally said, "I'll just get a plain hamburger." Ganju seemed shocked. "A…a… HAMburger" Ganju stammered. "What? Excuse me?" Ichigo asked, now confused. "You most definitely are excused!" Ganju answered, "Sorry, you horrid killer we only serve veggie burgers and other organic foods" _A fast food restaurant without any meat or even chicken. Wow! _Thought Ichigo. "Okay… why?" he asked. Ganju then gave him the "you got to be kidding me face and stare.

After a while, when Ganju finally realized that that Ichigo really didn't know what he was talking about he started to explain, "After my long protest, and all my hard work, they took out all ham items and other meat items that offended Bonnie"he seemed very proud. Now Ichigo realized that it was all about his pet hog, Bonnie. He also realized something else.

"For a second I thought that you actually thought that hamburgers were made from ham. Now I realize it is in other meats. Right?" Ichigo asked. Again Ganju gave him the stare and face. 'HAMburgers are obviously made from HAM! Ichigo, I knew you were dumb but to sink this low! I am surprised!" Ganju said in a proud voice.

Now it was time for Ichigo to return the stare, and he did. "HAMburgers made from HAM! Really now?" he said in a sarcastic tone. Ganju was shocked and confused. "Yeah… that is why they are called Hamburgers…" Ganju replied. Now Ichigo wanted to laugh. "HAMburgers! What about bacon? That comes from pigs!" he yelled in Ganju's face testing him. "Ichigo" Ganju replied, "Bacon is a dairy product, you BAKE it. BAKE-on. You know."

Now Ichigo was in tears. "What about the CON part I baCON?" He said catching his breath. Still, Ganju was serious about his answer. "Well, maybe they bake Kon… no that can't be right…"

Ichigo left that restaurant with a smile on his face. "Idiot Ganju" he said under his breath. His stomach growled and he realized he didn't get a burger and he was still hungry. He entered another fast food chain, this one called "McDonalds".

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Hellohola everyone! I know this one isn't as good as my other one, but still read and review. Any suggestions, review! I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you continue to read my FanFic. On the bottom of this page there are a few buttons that you can press 'Favorite', 'Alert', 'Review' and more! Please try those out! Thanks!

**EXTRA:**

"No HAMburgers! Killer of pigs! Killer of pigs! HAM! HAM! HAM! You evil killers! No HAMburgers!" Ganju said right outside BleachBurger.

"Ganju" said the manager, "We can remove the ham products. But do we have any ham products?"

"Yeah!" yelled Ganju with Bonnie by his side, "your HAMburgers!"

"Okay. Whatever!" said the manager going back into the restaurant!

"No HAMburgers! No HAMburgers! Killer of pigs! Killer of hogs!"

"Manager" asked another employee, "What are we going to do?"

"Whatever he does" pointing at Ganju, "He is going to be the guy with the Dunce hat at the end!"


	3. Ugly

Firstly, I want to thanks my friends for giving me the idea to make this FanFic! Please read and review! Thanks, oh, also Favorite and Alert! Thanks!

Yumichika and Ikkaku finally decided to go to the BleachBurger. Everybody was talking about it and so they thought why not try it. They entered one fine mourning. The sun was shinning and the birds chirping all except on one person.

Ikkaku walked up to the counter. "Hello, I'm Ganju and I'll be your server. What would you two like to order?" the cashier said to them. It was Ganju! Ikkaku was amazed but Yumichika was confused.

"One quarter-pounder, extra pickles, lettuce, cheese double patty, a 28 oc. Milkshake, large fries and a hot fudge caramel sundae in your biggest container. Thanks." Ordered Ikkaku. Yumichika looked at Ganju then looked away. "One salad" he said, "without the dressing and everything." Ganju was shocked, "You mean just lettuce". Yumichika nodded his head. "We don't have a price on lettuce" said Ganju. "Then is it free!?" Yumichika said in a peppy voice. Ganju shook his head. "You… You… ugly, horrid witch of a cashier!" Yumichika said to Ganju as calmly as possible. "BITCH!" yelled Ganju.

Ikkaku tried to step in, but Yumichika stopped him. "Are you sure?" said Ikkaku. "I'm from 11th Division, of course I am sure" Yumichika answered. Ikkaku asked, "How about you Zanpakuto, you don't have it?" Yumichika just answered, "My sharp wits will get me through this one!"

Yumichika looked at Ganju again. "Say it" he started, "say it again." Ganju just looked him in the eye as Yumichika mouthed the words "Ugly" at him. Ganju just said, "You bitch". Yumichika stood straight. "Bitch, you said bitch. Well, a bitch is a girl dog. Dog's go bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are part on nature. Nature is beautiful, thanks for the compliment!" Everyone was speechless.

"What a bad comeback" said Ganju. "Can you think of anything better" said Yumichika with a glare. "Well…" mumbled Ganju, "YOU SUCK!" Again, everyone was speechless.

"Can I just have my salad, ugly. Then we will go!" said Yumichika. Ganju just gave him a bag, "Here's your lettuce."

**EXTRA:**

Yumichika looked at Ikkaku, all sweating like he was nervous. Yumichika turned and looked at the window. "Isn't the view beautiful" said Yumichika. Ikkaku just nodded, his eyes blood-shot and he looked exhausted. Yumichika glared at him, as if waiting for something to happen. Nothing did. Ikkaku smelled ramen, he sweated even more. Heavy breaths came. "I can't take it!" he said and he ran to the food. "NO!" Yumichika said running after him. He found Ikkaku stuffing his face. He was saying something to Yumichika, he wasn't sure. I think it was, "Screw this diet! I'd rather be bulimic!"


	4. Lunch for Two? Part 1 of 3

Gin pulled out the seat and Matsumoto sat down. Gin gave her a smile, though he did it all the time, this was with more love. He got his own seat and sat down. "Thanks for coming to lunch with me today… sorry about the location. The BleachBurger was all I could find at such short notice" said Gin so proud that he got to courage to ask Matsumoto for a date lunch and so amazed that she said yes. "Yeah, sure" answered Matsumoto, "I'm so sorry to hear that today was your mothers death anniversary". Gin smiled back, some things you had to sacrifice for a date like this. "So…" said Gin changing the subject, "Want to order?"

The waiter came up to them. It was Shuuhei and he didn't seem that happy. "So, mam, SIR! What would you like to order on this very fine day!" he said, grinding his teeth. Gin just smiled, 'Matsumoto, what do you want?" Matsumoto looked at the menu, "One salad please" she finally said. "An excellent choice, madam" said Shuuhei, "And for the idiot?" Gin gave him a glare, still with a smile on his face. "Well…" he started, "I'll just have a burger." Shuuhei looked at his paper and said, "Sorry, all out." Gin stood up, "What! How can you be out of burgers! This is a burger joint! And you just opened!" Shuuhei looked displeased, "I'm sorry sir." Matsumoto looked at Gin and he settled down. Matsumoto then looked at Shuuhei, "Aww… I also wanted a burger." She said in a whiny voice. Shuuhei smiled again, "Why of course!" Gin looked at him again. "Sorry, sir, madam has taken the last one." Shuuhei said to Gin with a smile on his face. Gin just smiled away too.

Time went by and Gin started to have a feeling that the waiter, Shuuhei didn't like him. Or at least he didn't like him hanging out with Matsumoto. First his order, then the ketchup and mayo spilling on his designer Shinigami robe. Then there was the incident with the ice; Gin would never be able to forget it for a couple of centuries. Yet he was such a gentleman to Matsumoto. He was stealing his ride, Gin knew it.

"Order up!" said the cook. Shuuhei was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was still in the dumpster Gin threw him in a couple of minute earlier. Gin was still smiling. The cook decided to give it to the customers themselves. He walked up to them, "Matsumoto, what are you doing her- GIN ICHIMARU!". Gin looked up, he couldn't see the cook so well, "Is it you Izuru?" he used his hands to open his eyes, "Much better!"


	5. Lunch for Two? Part 2 of 3

Izuru dropped all the plates he was holding after seeing his former captain right in front of him. Should he be angry, sad, happy, or even grateful perhaps? Gin just looked at him then the plates and just shook his head; "We won't be paying for two orders if you ask us." Izuru nodded his head and went back to the kitchen he cooked again and as he walked towards them again he stopped and ran to the kitchen. Rage and excitement filled him up… he was planning something, planning something big.

"Gin" Matsumoto was saying, "You shouldn't have talked to Izuru like that. He hasn't seen you in a while and look at the state you left him in." Gin thought about it he had been a little cruel to Izuru, just leaving him behind to do evil, but come on, he didn't suspect him as evil. He had a serial killer smile, more pedophilic actually. He was always cold and creepy to others, how could Izuru expect nothing. Matsumoto continued, "He is going to spit in your drink". "Pardon?" Gin replied, he didn't quite catch it. "Nothing" and Matsumoto continued to sip her Iced Tea.

Izuru gave the burgers to them and they ate it whole-heartedly. Izuru just went back to the kitchen calm. He started to clean up the kitchen, he was putting something away. It was pomegranate… what was he up to?

Gin started to eat his burger, then he suddenly stopped. "Are you okay Gin", Matsumoto said putting her burger back on the tray. Gin was trying to say something, his throat seemed clogged… "WHAT!" Matsumoto would scream. "Pogmmmmmte" he fumbled. "WHAT!" she said as she tried to do the Heimlich maneuver. "Pomegranate!" he finally said as the food came spitting, no, spewing out of his mouth.

After they relaxed, Matsumoto said, "What was that?" Gin was catching his breath… "Pomegranate…" he started, "I hate it, can't stand it… only Izuru knows that" Matsumoto had a hard time believing this, "Izuru would never do that!" Gin smiled again and said, "I taught him well!" Gin stood up. "Gin!" Matsumoto shouted, "What are you doing?" but he ignored her. He went in the kitchen… "Hi Izuru… long time hasn't it?" he said. "Uh… Captain… taichou…" Izuru stumbled. That was all Matsumoto heard other then Izuru's whines.

Matsumoto turned around, "He always leaves me… though this time he will come back…" she said under her breath, doubting herself though. "What did you say" said a voice behind her that she could never forget. "TAICHOU!" she said surprised.

Gin came out of the kitchen.


End file.
